Tuesday, 31 December 2013

'Who' Years Resolutions 2014

I haven't blogged in a while and so one of my new year's resolutions is to do more of it.  So to start off, here's my (in no particular order and slightly tongue-in-cheek) list of resolutions for Doctor Who in 2014 and onwards.


  1. Less of/no sonic screwdriver.  The Doctor managed without it for the first five years and for most of the '80s.  And even if he should use it again, use it for things like opening locked doors (except wooden ones, of course).
  2. No making-out with the companions.  Again, this is something the whole of 'Classic' Who managed until Paul McGann started it in 1996.  Can we please make it through one companion who doesn't make out with the Doctor or show any romantic interest?
  3. Bringing back "classic" monsters - if you're going to do it, don't just make the episode into an exercise in showing off the revamped design(c.f. Dalek - which was good, and Cold War).  And don't use CGI (c.f. Cold War).
  4. Stick to your guns and don't listen to the fans (and that includes me) - if you're going to revamp the Daleks and wipe out the previous "new" design (Victory Of The Daleks), then keep them rather than bring back the previous ones and retcon in the explanation that the new ones are the "officer class" (Asylum Of The Daleks).  True, that explanation isn't even given on screen and it could just be that they "adopted" them.  Except the "officer class" are nowhere to be found in Time Of The Doctor.  At least with the Cybermen, they're moving on.  The Daleks are at risk of being retrograde.  If you have to go back to an old design, go way back to the '60s or '70s and build new models with a 2010's budget (it might at least make up for the lack of 'classic' Daleks in Asylum).
  5. TARDIS console room - next time you redesign it, please make it brighter.  And bring back the round things.
  6. Music - less orchestral and more of what you'd hear in the 'classic' series (at least what you might hear on the 50th Anniversary soundtrack they released).  

Saturday, 5 January 2013

DVD Review: "The Wedding Video" (2012)

DIRECTOR: Nigel Cole
SCREENWRITER: Tim Firth

Billing the film as "from the director of Calendar Girls" (and, according to IMDB, also Made In Dagenham), the DVD sleeve also neglects to mention it is also from the screenwriter of Calendar Girls.  Credited as "a Nigel Cole film", the main auteurisms I could list from memory (it's been a while since I've seen Calender...) would be that The Wedding Video is a sunny British comedy set in the countryside.

If there is anything worse than a comedy film that isn't funny, it could be a British comedy film that isn't funny.  The Wedding Video has an approximate two-and-a-quarter laugh record (which is probably two-and-a-quarter more laughs than Keith Lemon: The Film) but thanks to Robert Webb (Peep Show), manages to raise about 2-3 smiles.  So it's not entirely without amusement or indeed interest, particularly in the second half (which may or may not be to do with my break to get a sandwich).

The film is made in the found-footage style with linking narration from our protagonist, Raif (Rufus Hound), and maybe a satire on the rich excesses of a society wedding (one excess did raise a laugh) and can be seen a contrasting with what the groom (Robert Webb) gets up to before the wedding (i.e. a stag night, which frankly, is probably more fun in concept).

Raif is the travelling brother who comes home to see his brother (groom Tim) after three years.  Tim is marrying Saskia (Lucy Punch), Raif's former school peer and whose rebellious past sounds more interesting than as she is now but is eventually brought up.  Raif is filming his own wedding video for them (despite Tim's initial reluctance) but once a professional is brought in, the film manages to split into separate-but-linked narratives once two cameras are involved.  When things take a predictable turn (though there is the dubious use of audio when filming a conversation in a kebab shot while the camera is placed outside), the pay-off is slightly more interesting than the set-up.

There are some capable performances.  Hound is kind-of well-cast as the slobbish brother while Webb shows he can do "drama" as well as raising a smile.
 

Friday, 21 September 2012

Film Brief: "House At The End Of The Street"

"HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET"

DIRECTOR: Mark Tonderai
WRITER: David Loucka
STORY: Jonathan Mostow

While suspenseful in places (there's at least one or two decent Jumps), it is essentially Psycho for Twilight fans that are too young to watch any of the Saw movies.  The handling of certain scenes may suggest that director Tonderai may be a safe hands for a Saw revival but if you want something better than this, I'd recommend his previous film (also his feature debut), Hush.  Written by David Loucka, who wrote the ill-reputed (i.e. I haven't watched it yet) Dream House.

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Film Thoughts: "Ted" (2012)

Ted (2012)

*CONTAINS SPOILERS*

Director: Seth MacFarlane
Screenwriters: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild
Story: Seth MacFarlane

You might have seen the trailer in which a young boy wishes that this teddy bear could come to life and it does, before cutting to years later in which they have both grown up.  That essentially sums up the premise of this live-action (with added CGI of course) feature film from the writers of animated sitcom Family Guy.  

Ted (2012) can be seen as a comedic answer to the question of "What if Christopher Robin and Winnie-the-Pooh grew up together?"  Of course, the idea of toys being alive (or coming to life) has been seen in Pinocchio (1940) and the Toy Story trilogy (1995, 1999, 2010).  Also the idea of living with a bear has been seen in the books and TV shows of Paddington Bear (and a feature film is in development).  To a lesser extent, there is a similarity with the opening scenes of The Muppets reboot (2011) in which the brother of Jason Segel's character is a Muppet.

The film opens in 1985 and thus welcomes comparisons with family fantasy films of that era - a photograph depicts Ted dressed as E.T. for example - and is narrated by Patrick Stewart, one of the handful of MacFarlane alumni to act in this film. In fact, the 80s has its culture plundered for most of the references in the modern day scenes, with particular focus on the 1980 version of Flash Gordon, which provides an extended cameo for Sam Jones (arguably his small role as a minister at the end would have sufficed).  There is also a Saturday Night Fever (1977) spoof which is so blatantly lifted from Airplane! (1980), that itself could only be an injoke.  Then again, there is I think a gag in which it's implied that John's ringtone for an incoming call from Lori is the Darth Vader theme from The Empire Strikes Back (1980) - a gag I believe was already coined by YouTube users.

As well as the MacFarlane alumni, there are other touches (besides flashbacks) such as the destruction of a motel room, which recalls Stewie beating up Brian and the Griffins' epic puking in the living room.

The film is not entirely without amusement though I cannot say I laughed particularly out loud.  It aspires to be offensive and there are at least two decent-ish gross out gags (the "teddy sex" being the superior one over the liquid soap cumshots, which is perhaps spoiled by Ted suggesting out loud that he may have gone to far in making lewd gestures at a female colleague; a similar moment is when MacFarlane actually references himself by drawing comparisons between Ted's voice and Peter Griffin's). 

There are some other redeeming features: it's also nice to hear Patrick Stewart speaking; Mila Kunis is in it (though Friends With Benefits is arguably a funnier film); Ted's "hooker" movie night-in looks genuinely fun; the Flash Gordon visual gags provide brief amusement but the joke as a whole is self-indulgent and lengthy; Ryan Reynold's wordless cameo.  Perhaps most importantly, the scene where John tries to repair a damaged relationship with Lori also resonated in how he didn't want it to end on a bad note and wanted to stay friends.  

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

My Top 5 Films of the Year So Far

Film critic Mark Kermode has listed his top 5 films of the year so far and here are mine (out of the few I've seen this year due to my financial state):

FAVOURITE: The Muppets

AND THE REST (A-Z):
The Descendants
Haywire
Prometheus
Shame

I'd also like to make an HONORABLE MENTION for BBC4's cinematic TV film, We'll Take Manhattan, written and directed by John McKay and starring Karen Gillan. Both are working on the upcoming Not Another Happy Ending.

Friday, 10 February 2012

THE MUPPETS (2011)

DIRECTOR: James Bobin
SCREENWRITERS: Jason Segel, Nicholas Stoller, Jim Henson (Characters)

First, a confession: I have seen more episodes of "Muppets Tonight" than "The Muppet Show" (in the latter, namely the "best-ofs", and the "Star Wars" and "Elton John" episodes). A childhood favourite movie of mine was "Muppet Treasure Island" (1996) and it may still be my "favourite" of the Muppet films though in a more critical mindset, my vote for "best" might be "The Great Muppet Caper" (1981) though the original "The Muppet Movie" (1979) - the one I got round to watching last (during my first year at university) - is arguably the most cinematic. It is difficult to rank them in order, particularly when it comes to picking the (whisper it) *weakest*. "The Muppets Take Manhattan" (1984) is the one that takes itself most seriously although the wedding finale manages to bring a lump to the throat; "Muppets from Space" has less songs but still has some amusement and there is the moment where it's possible that Gonzo might be leaving.

Recently re-viewing of the previous films, I figured that the better ones are those in which it is clear that the Muppets are putting on a production (in which case "Muppets from Space" is probably the "weakest" in that there is no context for the Muppets all living together - Kermit is on vacation: what was his job? - though I believe the house in question is briefly alluded to in "The Muppets"). The first three make up a kind of trilogy which began with a kind-of retelling of the Muppet's origins (a more literal interpretation would see them travelling by map to London), then a fun jaunt to Great Britain to solve a jewel robbery, before portraying a group of students wanting to take to Broadway before having to disband and eventually reuniting for Kermit and Piggy's possibly real wedding (if the suggestions on IMDB forums are true).

Years later, the series was "rebooted" of sorts with literary adaptations of "The Christmas Carol" and "Treasure Island" in the cinema, and "The Wizard of Oz" on television. "The Muppet Christmas Carol" remains a favourite for Christmas viewing besides "It's A Wonderful Life" (and apparently "Elf").

"Muppets From Space" seemed a more literal film though Piggy has a job as a coffee pig despite being in a second-rate variety show (or third-rate, if you're Luke Skywalker) but there was still room for jokes that showed the characters were aware that they were in a film (there was probably room for more songs but the tone was perhaps too serious for breaks into jolly numbers and the music mainly consisted of backing tracks and the actual Muppets singing is saved for last and even then it wasn't the main cast performing it).

I've generally tried to avoid reviews of this film but one I briefly scanned seemed to indicate it was a return to the original movie. I agree in that it's a much simpler, light-hearted bright family film, which takes a similar plot involving the Muppets being rounded up one my one, which is also similar to the final act of "The Muppets Take Manhattan" as here the Muppets have disbanded and our protagonist Walter - who maybe a Muppet himself - starts a campaign that will lead to a telephon revival of the original show, having grown to love it after watched rented videos with his brother, Gary (the adult version played by Jason Segel - incidentally, fans of two paricular contemporary American sitcoms will finally seem them cross over). Walter has discovered that a rich tycoon aims to tear down the Muppet studios for oil (a plot as familiar as last year's live-action "Yogi Bear" movie) and seeks out his hero - and eventual friend - Kermit and is assisted by Gary and his girlfriend Mary ("Enchanted"'s Amy Adams).

While this is a more literal Muppet movie (although there are plenty of knowing injokes), it defintely works, specifically because: I laughed several times; I forgot it was a "Disney" film; I was sort-of won over to Walter; when they started playing the finale song, I tried to figure out where I heard it from and realised they were replaying the OPENING song. And while I might not have had warm fuzzy feelings of nostalgia, I am sure this film will grow on me. It is almost certainly the best family film I have seen in the cinema since "Toy Story 3" (2010) and stands as a beacon of hope in a multiplex filled with Michael Bay's Transformers, Jim Carrey's penguins, and Kevin James' zookeepers.

It is appropriate that it should open in the UK on the same day as the 3D reissue of "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace". Responsible parents would have a choice between a fun, feelgood family film featuring REAL Muppets or go next door and watch a retro-fitted 3D film in which a Muppet has been replaced by a CGI substitute.

Some may be disappointed that their favourite Muppet might not get enough screentime (Gonzo is far less featured than in previous entries and Rizzo appears at least twice). My slight, minor problem with the film is the possible negative portrayal of rap (music that isn't necessarily to my taste but still...) - the tycoon gets his own(ly) number in the form of a rap song while in Fozzie's tribute band, his earless substitute wears a gold chain.

Generally though (while "Muppet Treasure Island" may be embedded as a favourite), I am wondering on the cusp of tabloid territory as I am tempted to describe this film as "Perfect".

Saturday, 21 January 2012

Brief Review: "The Human Centipede (First Sequence)" (2009)

Written and directed by Tom Six

An updated twist on "Frankenstein" in which a German scientist stitches three living humans (rather than dead body parts) together to create a new creature based on the premise. Thrilling and gripping and though ultimately cruel, there is a surprising spark of humanity with one or two tender moments (namely the two female leads hold hands as they endure their predicament). After an uncertain start (who really cares about the quality of acting in a horror movie about eating poo?), Ashley C. Williams and Ashlynn Yennie prove themselves once they are in Dr. Heiter's house and out of the rain and Dieter Laser is very good. The concumption of fecal matter is far less overt than Pasolini's "Salo (Or 120 Days of Sodom"), in which it is served up as a meal. There are a couple of hints at ideas besides the central high-concept, with the idea of the scientist as God (c.f. "Frankenstein", 1931) and the Katsuro, Japanese tourist victim (Akihiro Kitamura) says how what a crazy world we live in, before making a terrible choice.