Film: Pixels (2015)

Adapted from a two-minute short in which video game characters invaded the world through the broken screen of an abandoned television set, the latest offering from Happy Madison adopts a premise not dissimilar to Galaxy Quest (1999) by having aliens mistake 1980s footage of kids playing arcade games as a declaration of war and responding by sending various invasion forces modelled on various arcade games.  An episode of Futurama (2001) was brought up with regards to the premise, the episode in question (Anthology Of Interest Part II) containing a segment (David X. Cohen’s “Raiders Of The Lost Arcade”) that explored the premise of a reality based on video games and saw the Omicrons invade Earth with Space Invaders and Donkey Kong being the US ambassador of planet Nintendo 64.  That segment had more wit than the entirety of this film.  Brought in to defend the Earth are two nerds, including Adam Sandler (who largely seems to be sleepwalking his way through it), aided by their mutual childhood friend, played by Kevin James (better than he has been in some other Madison productions).  James also happens to be the President of the United States but has proved unpopular (yet curiously popular enough to have been elected in the first place).  Unbelievably, James in child form (in an opening flashback sequence – perhaps something of a convention in Sandler features, cf. Happy Gilmore, Grown Ups, That’s My Boy) manages to beat a claw crane in order to win a Chewbacca mask (this pays off later when his older self gets to use a crane).  They are joined by the incarcerated “Fireblaster” (Peter Dinklage), who seemingly beat Sandler’s younger self in a competitive game of Donkey Kong.  For Patrick Jean, having your short film adapted by Hollywood feature film must have seemed like a dream come true – at least until it transpired it was to be made by Happy Madison (like winning a trip to Switzerland only to be told you’ll be staying at Dignitas).  Sandler’s love interest this time is a single mother (Michelle Monaghan essentially being the “MILF” now that perhaps even the producers think the middle aged Sandler shouldn’t go after “hot teacher” as with Billy Madison twenty years earlier) who also happens to be in the military and has a son that Sandler can bond with.  Her husband left her for a “nineteen-year old Pilates teacher” and she is now trying to come up with a “slut-seeking missile”.  No actors involved could possibly have been interested in anything other than a pay cheque and no laughs are to be had (at least one moment which might have been funny in the trailer is Sandler’s “Pacman’s a bad guy?!”), which makes it even less funny than even the one-snort Jack And Jill (2011).   One sequence of merit is the climactic boss battle accompanied by Queen’s “We Will Rock You” but any goodwill earned is soiled when Lady Lisa is reintroduced as a “trophy” for one of the nerds.  Wow.  Go watch the original short instead.  Or Galaxy Quest.  Or Futurama.  Or Wreck-It-Ralph (2012).  Or Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010)…